Paid off

Well it's about time I got back to my story. That evening passed uneventful for me and I slept well to rise the following morning to open the store where I work (Radio Shack). It was a pretty slow day, about as slow as the day before that and the rest of the week come to think of it. I was so board I decided to check my bank accounts to see how in debt I still was. Something was off though when I went to check the balance on my student loan it came up zero and the same thing happened with my car loan, zero balance. Certainly this was a mistake, so I decided to call the bank in order to investigate. My stomach felt like someone filled it with helium thinking what I would do if it were true.

"Hi Sharon, this is Steve, one of your customers. I was just checking the balance on my loans..."

"Oh yes we received a rush order this morning for the full amount, You are all set. Is there anything else I can do for you."

"No," I said "I think I'm good."

"Have a nice day."

Most of you know what it feels like to owe money in large sums, and can imagine what it must feel like to have that weight lifted. I didn't know how this had happened but I had some idea that it might have something to do with Sandra. I would have to ask her when I see her tonight.

You on the other hand will have to wait till tomorrow to hear the details when things start to go downhill.

papa don't preach

Tonight I will have a dream. There are two characters one sitting, one standing. The one sitting was stern faced but full of angst. The one standing was speaking to the other in a persuasive terms. "You need to wake up you see. Jesus is the answer, you need to know God, read the bible, pray more, God is love." He kept on going on like that to the poor fellow so that I had to say something. So I walked up and closed my eyes so as not to see their reaction as I spoke.

"See here you, let this poor fellow be. I can't stand to see you torture him like this. All of your answers are cliche and unhelpful. You are being so unhelpful about it don't you understand the truth of the gospel.... Well what do you have to say for yourself." I opened my eyes to see both the stander and sitter had my face.

"It's alright I know he's right, and what's more he is the only one who has a right to say those things." Said the sitter. "I just don't know how to do it."

"How indeed." Said the stander taken aback a bit as we all nodded.

So I'm not quite sure how this dream ends but I hope to find out.

Landfall

As we approached shore we came into range of the cell phone towers and Sandra was able to call for a ride to come pick her up. Fortunately I keep all my stuff in dry bags so my cell phone was fine. As the boat hit the shore I felt a bit of relief and yet as Sandra got into her awaiting limousine I felt a twinge of regret because after all even though she was kind of annoying she was very beautiful. It was that twinge of regret that caused me to make a seemingly small decision that led to some large problems in the end. As Sandra's driver held the door she looked back at me and said.
"I want to thank you for saving me. Come to dinner with me tomorrow night. My treat It's the least I could do."
I wasn't psychic I didn't know the future, it was the polite thing to do. So I accepted. But you don't know what I'm talking about yet do you... well give it time my story will unfold soon enough.

filler

Well today is the first day I'm resorting to filler. Isn't filler great, I know this filler is great enjoy this insite into my fealings about today.


Oh and by the way what day would be complete without animal abuse.

The ride back

Rowing back was slow going with Sandra throwing off the center of gravity and after a day of activity I was getting quite tired. Sandra of course was in the mood to vent all of her problems, this is something she does normally but now she was about to go into overdrive.

"Oh, Stephen, I'm so terribly sorry to impose on you like this I am so embarrassed but you see it isn't really my fault. It was that intolerable trollop Rosario. I was having a perfectly lovely day floating about on my yacht drinking martinis while Rosario cleaned like she always did but today she decided to sit down and read a book but that isn't right, she was on the clock after all. So I told her to get back to work. Then for no reason she saw your little boat there and shoved me out over the rail and into the water. Imagine how I felt seeing her riding off into the distance as I sat alone in the middle of the lake. I was terrified. I never thought Rosario had it in her."

"Have you ever had a job?" I asked.

"A job? well no why would I. People only get jobs if they need money."

"Just curious is all, where do you think Rosario would have gone?"

"No doubt she took the boat back and drove home. She is just obsessed with spending time with that son of hers. She doesn't know how lucky she is to have a job, a lot of single mothers in her position are on welfare just a drain on the system. She is so ungrateful."

"Ungrateful... that's exactly what I was thinking."

"See now you are a good listener, Stephen, I'm so glad we met, I mean I guess I could have done without being half drown and sunburned but of all the people I could have met I'm glad it was you. When we get back my father will want to thank you properly."

"What does your father do?"

"I'm not sure... he's rich."

"That's pretty good, I imagine that pays well."

Meeting Sandra's father was didn't sound like such a bad idea at the time. A rich man wanting to thank me didn't sound like such a bad thing... but that's where all the fun started.

Sandra

As soon as she saw me she started screaming "Ah, fishy man, fishy man!" and hitting at the water in my direction with her very expensive looking bag. This action of course led her to topple my kayak into the lake. Wearing a dress like she was I knew it must be difficult to swim in that dress of hers so I swam up behind her and grabbed her around her stomach to keep her afloat. Fortunately at this angle she realised it was useless to swing at me. She simply sobbed in an upper crust English accent "please don't rape me, my family will pay you nothing if I am harmed." Somehow I managed to bring her over to the side of the boat to which she clung so I could pull away and remove my diving mask. If I had any hope of getting out of this mess I was going to have to try to communicate with this woman. Communicating with women hasn't always been my forte but I thought I would give it a try.

"I'm not going to hurt you I just want to get out of here. " This seemed to calm her down not to mention getting wet for as I later found out she was starting to get heat stroke.

"Sniff, I'm sorry just please take me back to shore I'm tired and wet and I want to go home."

"Yes, I think that would be the best thing for you now. My name is Steve what's yours."

"Sandra." she replied shakily.

"OK, Sandra, let's get you back." She nodded sadly shaking drops of water off the end of her nose. She was very beautiful I could not deny but it was the kind of beautiful that you know will be more trouble than it's worth in the end. It took what seemed like half an hour to get her and myself back into the boat and by the time we arrived back at shore afternoon had turned into evening as the sun started to set to our left.

I would like to tell you what happens next and why Sandra was stranded in the middle of the lake but I'm afraid that that story will have to wait until tomorrow. I hope you are enjoying this so far please leave me a comment to know what your impressions of the story are so far.

Exactly as Strange as Fiction

Well I guess I had better explain what has happened to me recently. I've been on the run and I guess it is quite a story, the kind of stuff that doesn't happen to most people. When I was in Florida I went kayaking and I really took a shinning to it, so when I got back I went out and got one. I went out on that thing seams like every day until I got pretty buff. I was going up and down the bay until eventually I was going out onto the lake out of view of the land. One day late in the season I thought it would be fun to borrow my friend's scuba suit and go diving down near this wreck I found in the lake Ontario. I swam around there for a good hour or so till I got board and came up to my boat. When I reached the top what did I find in my boat except a very beautiful woman. She was in her mid twenties wearing a very fashionable evening gown with diamond jewelry. She looked very out of place there in my kayak which may be part of the reason she looked as though she had been crying for who knows how long.

What happens next? tune in tommorow!

Here's a great video that made me laugh, avoid if you mind the F word.

Here goes nothing

So it's been several months since I have last posted and while that is regrettable quite frankly I had nothing interesting to say for that time period. Other than that I got a new car and have made some new friends at access a coffee house gathering at a church in Chili. Other than that it's just been a huge Radio Shack montage. That may end soon however. So in an effort to make this a more interesting blog I am going to try to post some things that are interesting and or entertaining as well as adding true stories from my life that I have made up. Thanks for reading this.