margins

hey look I figured out how to get my margins correct, now people can see the stupidity contained in the picture below without having to drag it into their browser window.

cupcake downfall

Last night I was assaulted by my own offspring. Cupcakes, so I called in sick today. I made them myself and what can I say they teamed up on me. I regretted it in the morning.

UPS shmeg up

can anyone tell me what's wrong with this picture? This is a real screen cap from ups. In a completely unrelated story I am getting a new computer. woot! Btw in a completely related story check out my new digs, on park ave, on my myspace.

quotable

That's really great but I think everyone would feel a whole lot better if we add pants to the equation just now.

poetry corner

when people are in relationships sometimes they want to say beautiful things to each other so they have love poetry to fill in the gaps when someone else said it better than they ever could. What about when a relationship is over. This is where breakup poetry fills in the gaps. Breakups are so mysterious and confused it's poetry that can really fill in the gaps here when people are dancing around the truth or when they feel so repressed that they want to explode on the other person in a torrent of frustration. In that spirit I wanted to try to write a few haiku's to start things off.

you've been nice knowing
I think we are growing apart
it's not you it's me

I like that last line because it's a cliche in 5 syllables.

I've been really board
I kind of dig your sister
do you hate me now

You haven't been around
I've been seeing someone new
and is that so wrong

you just walked by me
when I saw you on the street
we have grown apart

you are so emo
I am a little punk rock
we were wrong together

move your lazy ass
why don't you get a real job
I am leaving you

I liked you better
when you were in high school plays
not now bumming rent

can you count to three
these were the few moments when
we were not fighting

I think you're hot
but you played with the matches
and now I'm homeless

you made me sell out
my hair will grow back but the
tattoos are for keeps

there is much to say
i don't think you will understand
just get sober soon

i just want back in your head

living in the world of extacy

Well this Saturday I went to see rusted root with thousands of my fellow Rochestarians. We danced in the streets with hippies. There was even a middle aged woman there who told us that she was merely there for the ecstasy but felt that the band was most prodigious. I felt that it would be ironic to do a blog about this and give it a title from a rusted root song. There really is nothing else interesting about this story. Oh well.
Enjoy a very silly physics website I just found.

http://www.britneyspears.ac/lasers.htm

not anymore

I remember I talked to you before, but now I can't. I could before but now I can't. Does that make any sense. I asked you what you wanted to do with life and you weren't sure. But now we know because It's over and you won't get to make those decisions or live in those places you might have like to or met any other people. It's all so final so brief then it's over. Because, there was that other guy I guess he was just having a little fun who are we to judge him and his life and his choices. I don't think you ever did those things that he does but all the same you can't judge this guy he's just having fun and living his life behind the wheel of an automobile in the wrong place at the wrong time just like you were that night just going to see your family. I wonder how well he will remember the time he met you, did he stop and chat, did he think it through and decide it was worth it. No, I guess he probably didn't.
It's in these moments we see heaven. It's not so much in the day to day working your job and living alone, it's in these moments where the crazy things happen and the almighty looks down and takes the nice girl and leaves the careless drunk behind. I don't get it but for some reason I feel connected to heaven and to life and living.

What I'm talking about

Can't sleep clowns will eat me

can't sleep clowns will eat me !can't sleep clowns will eat me!
can't sleep clowns will eat me!
can't sleep clowns will eat me!
can't sleep clowns will eat me! can't sleep clowns will eat me!
can't sleep clowns will eat me!
can't sleep clowns will eat me!
can't sleep clowns will eat me! can't sleep clowns will eat me!
can't sleep clowns will eat me!

not a famous poem

Sadie thought she was the girl
She loved a mafia man
what does it matter she said if he kills all day when he loves at night
the night was hot, the windows were open, the neighbors complained
night after night it was the same
One day Sadie's man came home for lunch to hear her scream next door.
that night Sadie was no more and when her man went next door there was just a parrot and her voice on the same perch.
-not a famous poem

Gas prices

Hey Gas prices suck! It's 20cts cheaper in the midwest.

Home Again

Well if you haven't figured out yet I drove home from Iowa stopping to sleep in Detroit. Looking back I think it might have been cool to hang out in Granelle for a couple days, spending time in that coffee shop maybe befriend some of those liberal arts students. Hotel rooms are expensive however so perhaps not. For my next adventure I would like to get a room in some strange city, a foreign city if I'm really adventurous, and just read and write. I wonder if Verizon would ever let me take a month off to live in Paris. That would be neat.

The thing is all lot of people can go to other cities and meet people easily but as for me I tend to give off this vibe that says "I want you" or "I hate you." In truth it's more like "You bother me" or "You are kind of cool let's be friends" and in rare occasion "The knowledge that you exist is a burden to my soul." The Holy Spirit is helping with that last one. So I am going to try to be nicer to people anyhow but as for the flip side, I would never date someone unless I really knew them well. I don't know.

So I also want to send a shout out for PJ who is my first commenter to the blog. I notice most people here don't get comments as much as was on xanga. Xanga was going pretty good for quite a while. I've got a couple years worth of posts still up there but nobody I was buddied with posts anymore. Theoretically I can do more here but I forget how that HTML stuff works so I can't fix my margins.

As for future posts I'll try and keep things interesting in a non emo fashion. I am sure there will be plenty of girls who think that I want them so I can blog about that in subtle artistic forms that will make everyone involved feel awkward. Or maybe it would be better not to take things in that direction. Spiritual preachy blogs tend to do well but the ones that really get the comments are the ones that say stupid stuff like "boot cut jeanz are the ROXOR" or "vote for Pedro." Just watch I'll post something like that and people will react and by now everyone has stopped reading. I think a lot of people skip the ends of long blogs. Although I seriously wonder if people even read the beginning. We shall see.

Templates urk me

OK these pictures are being displayed poorly. If anyone is more tech savvy than me how do I fix this. If anyone is less tech savvy than me right click the picture and click on display picture.

Pictures finally

Above are some pictures of crossing the Mississippi via the route 66 bridge.
Below are some pictures of my sister's place in Detroit, MI (Rochester hills actually)

tripping or illing

Man I've been on the road for a while now and I've made it to Grinnell, IO. It's a small college town with a coffee shop called the saint's rest in which I happen to be sitting. Last night I stayed in a town by the Mississippi river so that I could go take a walk by it's banks in the morning. It's big and cold I imagined Jim and Huck riding by on a raft. I also went on the rout 66 bridge and I thought of Hemingway and Kerouac. It is kind of neat to see these things but really most of the neatness is in my head. Sure it's a lot of dirty water, I've seen that before but what the Mississippi means culturally can't really be understood by looking at it. Should I press on in the hope of seeing mountains or should I stop and go home.
As I travel around I see people everywhere living in cities and towns I've never heard of or cared about living their lives. Does it really matter where a person puts down their roots just so long as they do put down roots. They do look just as happy as any other people anywhere else. Is that what I need to see out here.
My vague plan is to go to California I guess because that's really as far as a person can go without having to change directions. Being here in this shop doesn't feel much different than Webster or Java's downtown. Is it worth a couple of days and a couple hundred dollars to see mountains. I'll let you know in my next post.
Also closing remark I've gotten some hits on my hit counter and that's pretty sweet but please won't someone leave a comment. It would mean the world to me :)

pictures

BTW stay tuned peeps pics are coming soon.

LaSalle, IL

Well I'm in LaSalle, IL with a vague plan of making my way down highway 80. I got a flat in Jouliet outside Chicago but I am undeterred. The land is starting to flatten out now as I make my way accross the plains I hope to cross the Mississippi tonight but I may be detoured. The philosophy of this trip is not about speed. Speed is my own personal philosophy so now I'm trying to act contrary to my nature to challenge that in me.
The word came up today on the radio (NPR) Mensch. It's a Yiddish word meaning an exceptional person of character. Will I ever be called this or deserve this title. Sure it's easy to pretend to be excellent for and hour or so every week sometimes longer but to be really deserving of such a title. What do you think.

I've also been thinking a lot about faith. Weeks ago I would have told you I'm all out of faith. Nearly ready to stop believing. Not really that close though. I think the bottom of my faith barrel is a lot deeper than I realize. Someone said to me that the course of my life is not about a journey to a destination but the development of character. My life looks like aimless wandering but that's what it's taken to bring me to there point of being who I am and who I will be. So then I ask myself a I better now than I was and the answer is in some ways no. But, I have to admit there is more that I don't see. How can a car in the garage say it's worse off when it is in pieces. Trust in God that what is happening will bring you to the greater good then you will be a person of faith.

And then what happened

So I finally knuckled down and got a job. What's next you are probably asking. Well my Shema friends all are going to suggest moving out and I'll jive with that. In about 6 months I will probably be moving out into my own apartment. I don't know if I will share or if I will live alone yet, this depends on a number of factors. It's all a part of growing up I guess, It's not an easy road but one I know I must go down. That's why I have to make as much of these road trips as I possibly can. Everyone I know is settling down, getting married but I don't know that I want to take that rout, at least not yet. I see so many married people who mutually defer their own dreams for the sake of their spouses and I just am not interested in that right now. I would feel horrible if I made someone turn down their dream. It's been a long time since I have gone after a girl or asked out a girl (on purpose anyway.) I feel ready to move out but relationship wise not so much. Right now I'm all about the friendships.

Yeah I know this entry is not my best most organized writing but I just want to throw it out there at the web and see what sticks.

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

A while ago I told you all about the 2 vexing problems in my life... consider them solved. Yeah it's pretty sweet I have my degree and a sweet job at Verizon. The catch is that the Verizon job starts at the end of the month. So I quit my job at office depot because it is painful to me and I have my tax money so what do I do with my month off? Road trip of course. Where? who cares so long as it is some place I've never been and might not get to go. Right now I am in Michigan outside Detroit and I will try to give updates as I travel when I stop for the night. I will be here for a few days and then on Wednesday I will move on. I am not sure if I want to go see the Aurora by driving north or if I want to see the Pacific as well as the rocky mountains. Let me know what you guys think. Or if you want to let me stay with you.

Oh btw I think I am talking to myself because I put a hit counter up and I'm pretty sure those 4 hits are all from me.

Denouement

de·noue·ment /ˌdeɪnuˈmɑ̃/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[dey-noo-mahn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	the final resolution of the intricacies of a plot, as of a drama or novel.

2.	the place in the plot at which this occurs.

3.	the outcome or resolution of a doubtful series of occurrences.

Yeah this is what I need in my life and I am so incredibly close. There have been two big things that I have been trying to accomplish since graduating college. The first is to receive my diploma by finishing my last class. The second is to find a job which can pay enough for me to move out of my parents house.
Well on Tuesday I had my third interview with Verizon wireless customer service which went swimmingly. They said I would receive official word in 7 to 10 business days. It seems like a sure thing.
Then on Wednesday I took the CLEP test in American Literature. I passed by a decent margin and when I phoned into Roberts they tried to tell me I had exceeded my maximum transfer credits. That is bogus however because they were the ones who told me to take that test in the first place. I put it off for a while so recently they sent me a letter saying I had to take the test before the end of the summer.
So that's why I'm looking for denouement, a final resolution of the intricacies of a plot. I want to know I have the job and the diploma and then I will have achieved what I have been trying to accomplish for these past three years.

what next

So if anyone is reading this and wonders where I was going with that weird story I'm really not sure and frankly I was getting kind of board with it. I feel like the Sandra character was a slam against women when really she was only intended to be a slam against a certain kind of women. So at any rate the part I was stuck on is how I get the main character (myself) to be running from the Sandra's mafia father. I was either going to have myself witness a mafia execution or I could offend Sandra by refusing her advances. The last one didn't make much sense as Sandra doesn't seem the type to feel gratitude or the type of person who would be attracted to me. Although her father did pay off my debts. I did that just so I would not be burdened while running for my life. After that happened at the restaurant I was going to have them send a bomb to radio shack while I was working and blow up the store. I of course would hear the ticking and get in the fed ex truck and make a daring escape from the hit men who were there to finish the job. Honestly who has the patience for such things, perhaps I'll continue the story but don't hold your breath I'll follow up soon with something else.

paradox

Imagine spending a lifetime plotting revenge on someone only to find out he is your future self and that when he stole your girl it was just to fulfill a lifetime of longing.

PS. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I'll gladly update the story and keep going just so long as someone somewhere leave a comment on one of the posts.

OK time to continue my story and you will have to pardon me if I'm fuzzy on the details. It was a strange night, and before I'll elaborate I just want to say I'm not totally horrible at talking to women, just sometimes horrible. I got a call from some secretary confirming dinner for that evening and a limo picked me up at around seven o'clock. I was wearing cargoes and a sweater which made the driver frown at me. He then handed me a hanger bag and told me to change in the back. Inside the bag was a very very expensive tux which I put on. I'm not a total looser somewhere along the way I learned to tie a tie. So when I arrived Sandra was there at the table. The place was nice it looked like some 50's nightclub very classy with marble, black tie, the whole nine yards. Not many people realize this and many have said otherwise but I do have a good sense of humor. So I talked to Sandra for a while till the food arrived, I'll spare you all the details but I did confirm that she was responsible for my debts being canceled, apparently when she told her her father about saving her life he called up the banks that he already owned and told them to cancel my loans. I have to say I was grateful but she was just so matter of fact about it. Clearly money was nothing to her family. The food was incredible and trust me you don't want to know how much it cost. So then her father comes over and gives me a big hug. And thanks me for saving his daughter. He was a big guy smelling like a humidor, An English mafioso one dare not trifle with... (story has been discontinued due to lack of intrest.)